Letting Go Of Your Dreams

Seems like I am stuck in a rut lately. I don't know if it is the "Post Marathon Blues" or just a normal cycle that everyone goes through. I think mostly that I have come to the realization that some life goals that I have set for myself may be too far out of reach that I may have to give up or set aside those goals . I think that life forces you to come to a cross road where you have to choose your path and I may be at one right now.

I have been at this cross road before in my life where I made the choice to give up on my dream of being on stage and making a living in the theatre . I loved performing , trying to create (sometimes successfully) a character and bringing that character to life on stage was an amazing feeling. I really enjoyed children's theatre, making a child laugh and having them enter the world of make believe with you gives you an incredible high.

I made the choice to not continue with the theatre life . I know that it was the correct choice , because not too long after  I made that choice I met the most incredible person that has changed my life and has made me a better person. If I would have kept on chasing my theatrical dreams I would not have been married to the person that completes who I am .

Since I was very young I dreamed about someday running in two races. The Boston Marathon and The New York City Marathon. Until three years ago that dream was dead too, but I started running again and started seeing my times inch closer and closer to the qualifying times for these events. Both Marathons have made it more difficult lately to qualify by increasing there standards.

I just ran the Cleveland Marathon , I ran it in 3 Hours and 43 minutes , my best marathon was 3 hours and 34 minutes . It was pretty warm in Cleveland and I gave it everything I had, but it wasn't meant to be. I was not planning on running another full marathon this year , but now I am not so sure.

The past couple days I have found myself looking at fall marathons to run. That is the competitive side of me coming out and for the past three years I have given into that side and done it. However, now there is an equally strong voice coming and is saying that I have given it everything that I have and to move on .


"The older you get the more things you have to leave on the table,that's life" is a quote from the movie "Rocky Balboa" . I am not talking about giving up running, I will run until my legs fall off, it is an important part of my life, but is it time to leave these two goals on the table and walk away? I just don't think that I am good enough achieve them anymore.

My Running Journey

Cleveland Marathon is Coming... am I Tough Enough

The Boston Marathon was ran this past Monday in extremely hot weather for this time of year for Boston, Massachusetts . The race directors offered the participants a chance to duffer their entry until next year do the extreme heat . Some did take them up on their offer, but a friend of mine did not. She ended up participating and finishing the race . Not only did she have the heat to deal with , but a week leading up to the race she could barely breath and had foot problems where she didn't even know that she was going to participate because of her health . Then she was given the chance to defer to next year, and she declined, then proved her toughness.

If I were in the same of circumstances as she was, I don't know if I would run . Even though it has always been a dream of mine to run Boston (and New York). I might have taken the chance to differ my entry to next year. I admire her courage and her toughness, I am not sure if I have if I have that level of toughness. My attempt at the Buffalo Marathon last year is weighing heavily on my mind.I am very concerned about history repeating itself this year .

One comment my friend made on her Facebook page is that her family is tough and doesn't quit. I have said the same thing to my kids many times when they want to drop out of something. I have used my training for marathons as an example, sometimes I would love to stay in my pajamas all day and play mindless games on Facebook, but I made a commitment and I have to see it through.

However, am I tough enough to see it through...... family history shows that I have it in my genes.

• In 1988 my father had a massive stroke which left him 3/4 paralyzed on the right side of his body. He had to learn to walk, talk and do many different everyday tasks that we take for granted all over again. He did this and never complained.

• In the mid 2000's my father learned that he had prostate cancer and he had to go get treatments. He never complained. You would have never known he was dealing with cancer at the time unless you were told (Yes, he beat it)  

• In 2009 he suffered more strokes which more or less robbed him of his ability to walk and talk, but he fought back and did not loose his smile or the ability to say "How are you?"

• My father passed away this past February, on the night before he died, my son ran up to him and hugged him. Up until this point he was having a hard time responding to anything going on around him. However, when Riley hugged him , my Dad , for a brief instant looked at my son and smiled . It will be a moment that I will never forget. 

I could go on and on about about what my parents have taught me about being tough ( I could right a book about my Mom, she is one tough cookie as well!) . I have to keep reminding myself that running a measly 26.2 miles in Cleveland (The world's greatest city) is NOTHING compared to what my parents have gone through. 

Latest Scan of My Head....Here are the results:

It has been a while since I have posted here so I thought I would give you a few things that have been on my mind since January 7th when  I posted about socks in a vending machine. So I may be all over the board with this one.

Our Best Chance to beat Obama

Presidential Election: I have thrown my support (whatever that is worth) behind Mitt Romney. I think that he is the most qualified person for the position of those who are running. I consider myself a conservative (at least on some issues), and maybe Romney isn't as conservative as people want him to be, but he is the most qualified for the job.

How does this guy know this?

Gay Marriage : I can not think of a good excuse for preventing same sex marriage. Doesn't say in the Bible that is not up to us  judge others? How does same sex marriage effect your everyday life. I was raised not to judge people and for too long I did that, it and never got me anywhere. If someone is in love and wants to spend the rest of their with someone they feel is their soul mate , who are we to judge? How is that different from me spending the rest of my life with my wife and raising a family? The answer I will receive is that it is not right, not natural or it is not what God has intended . Who are we to interpret what God wants? Then we pass along that interpretation as judgement of others lives?   There should be nothing to judge! Aren't you sinning if you are judging? How are homosexuals hurting you and your life?

The Miami Heat's Martin protest

The Trayvon Martin Shooting: This story interests me only because the public has already issued a guilty verdict on George Zimmerman (the man who shot Martin) . If you don't know what is going on I encourage you to look up the story. I have a few opinions on this. The main one being that all the evidence has not been presented in a court of law, and we have not heard everything that has happened yet from all witnesses and we should reserve our opinions until that evidence has been presented. This is a lesson that applies to the mainstream media and those (including Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and the Miami Heat to name a few) who have already passed judgement on Zimmerman need to understand.


That  is a few things to chew on for today , I welcome any comments below (Click on Comments ) or any through email (Click on word email) . I promise more will come soon!

Densil's Head Scan Home

Socks in a vending Machine

Here is the picture of the Socks.....

Because I am sick

What I am Thankful For.....

In 24 hours I will be waking up to yet another Thanksgiving Morning. This is one of my favorite holidays because it gives me time to reflect on all of the blessings in my life. So tomorrow morning as I am pulling on my tights and getting ready to participate in this years Turkey Trot in Buffalo, I will be thinking of what I am thankful for.Here are a few of them in no particular order

• My wife Sheri , I have said this many times, i would most likely be taking up residence in a sewer if it wasn't for her. She keeps me grounded and when they say that there is definitely one person out there for each person , Sheri is definitely that for me. I look forward to everyday that we get to grow old together 
• My Kids are crazy..... but they are like me. I am thankful for their love and couldn't ask for for two better kids in my life! My Parents who through their love and support made me who i am today. 
• To My 3 Brothers and Sisters and their wives and Husband. I can not think of a family that is tighter and more in tune with each other. People know that we are Wilsons... 
• To my friends who are ALWAYS there for me, I regret that we haven't spent much time together lately, but please know that you are and always be an important part of who i am and I hope that you know that you can always count on me to be there for your needs, and if I am not you need to slap me in the head . I thought about tagging you in this , but I am sure that I would miss someone accidentally. 
• To those people who have now passed on who have meant so much to me, I hope that you are in a place now where you can forever be happy and in no pain. You are with me everyday and I will NEVER forget you.
• Finally, I want to give thanks to God for all of the wonderful people and the blessings that He has given to me. I know I am not the most devout Christian, but I have never forgotten who has given me such a wonderful life so far!