Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Letting Go Of Your Dreams

Seems like I am stuck in a rut lately. I don't know if it is the "Post Marathon Blues" or just a normal cycle that everyone goes through. I think mostly that I have come to the realization that some life goals that I have set for myself may be too far out of reach that I may have to give up or set aside those goals . I think that life forces you to come to a cross road where you have to choose your path and I may be at one right now.

I have been at this cross road before in my life where I made the choice to give up on my dream of being on stage and making a living in the theatre . I loved performing , trying to create (sometimes successfully) a character and bringing that character to life on stage was an amazing feeling. I really enjoyed children's theatre, making a child laugh and having them enter the world of make believe with you gives you an incredible high.

I made the choice to not continue with the theatre life . I know that it was the correct choice , because not too long after  I made that choice I met the most incredible person that has changed my life and has made me a better person. If I would have kept on chasing my theatrical dreams I would not have been married to the person that completes who I am .

Since I was very young I dreamed about someday running in two races. The Boston Marathon and The New York City Marathon. Until three years ago that dream was dead too, but I started running again and started seeing my times inch closer and closer to the qualifying times for these events. Both Marathons have made it more difficult lately to qualify by increasing there standards.

I just ran the Cleveland Marathon , I ran it in 3 Hours and 43 minutes , my best marathon was 3 hours and 34 minutes . It was pretty warm in Cleveland and I gave it everything I had, but it wasn't meant to be. I was not planning on running another full marathon this year , but now I am not so sure.

The past couple days I have found myself looking at fall marathons to run. That is the competitive side of me coming out and for the past three years I have given into that side and done it. However, now there is an equally strong voice coming and is saying that I have given it everything that I have and to move on .

"The older you get the more things you have to leave on the table,that's life" is a quote from the movie "Rocky Balboa" . I am not talking about giving up running, I will run until my legs fall off, it is an important part of my life, but is it time to leave these two goals on the table and walk away? I just don't think that I am good enough achieve them anymore.